I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
