And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
