google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
