I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
