We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
