you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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