mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize