so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
FUCK WHALES
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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