I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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