I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she smelled like a LAN party
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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