i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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