She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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