I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Randomize
