your room smells of hookers.
And success
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
