I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
