Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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