the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
