Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
