my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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