I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
