her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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