then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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