I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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