he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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