The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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