I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If I die, sorry about rent.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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