Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
