CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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