everyone is single if you try hard enough
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
