So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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