explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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