i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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