they said they heard you say put it in my butt
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
