A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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