yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
God I need to hump something, right now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
