Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
