before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
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The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I had to cum in my sink.
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