I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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