i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
