Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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