also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
