i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
