so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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