Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
