so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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