wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
