In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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