oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
