New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
