Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
