He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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