we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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