Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
