So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
