you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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