Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
