listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
