This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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