HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I party with great urgency now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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