I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
