why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
