Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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