Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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